Intent vs Impact: What I Wish I Had Known Sooner

Plus, The Simple Rule That Can Help Save Your Relationships

Rachel Anne Helms
10 min readNov 29, 2023
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Which matters more: Intent or Impact?

It depends on who you ask.

But disagreement on the answer to this important question can completely destroy any relationship.

There is, however, one simple rule you can use in your relationships to save the ones that are worth saving, and weed out the ones that aren’t.

So, let’s talk about:

  1. The correct answer to the intent vs Impact question (yes, there is a correct answer, and it might surprise you)
  2. The one responsibility we all have in any relationship (this will help prevent big issues in your relationships in the first place)
  3. The simple rule that can save your relationships (and help you determine if a relationship is even worth saving)

Why is the intent vs impact question so important?

And what does someone’s answer to this question tell you about them?

We tend to judge our own behavior by intent and other people’s behavior by impact.



Rachel Anne Helms

ADHD, Autism, & cPTSD. Lifelong learner and sharer of acquired knowledge and wisdom. Join The Neurodivergent Network Community ->